Laurenegg's Blog

laurenegg — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:13:59 +0000

i tell everyone i don’t care, i tell everyone i’m over him, but i’m not. i constantly look at the pictures we took, i go to his facebook just to look at his status to see what he’s doing. i’m in love and i don’t know how to fall out of it. i miss his smile, his lips, his touch.. the way he said i love you, our late night skype convorsations, how we could just look at eachother and not say anything, the way he got along with my parents, the way he called me angel. he meant the world to me and still does. they’ll never be a day that i don’t think about him in some kind of way. he changed my life dramatically, i don’t know how somebody that live’s 3 hours away or someone who i only hung out with twice could make such an impact on me. he’ll never truely know how much i loved him or how much he meant to me. if one day he wants me back.. i’d take him back in a heartbeart no matter what. but for now, i know i just need to move on and not worry about it. i’m sure he’s found himself another pretty and sweet girl..

he’ll forever be in my heart as the guy that made me fall head over heels for him.

laurenegg — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 02:24:40 +0000

i know i shouldn’t of fallen for it. i feel for all the lines, all the “i love yous” he seemed so sure of it. i tried so hard to make “us” work. this was the first relationship that i was the one chasing.. at first it was a thrill, then it just got old. me being the first one to text, the only one asking to skype. always the first i love you.. then he came out with the truth, he told me he was only in it for the physical at first but now “he really realized how much he loved me.” needles went through my heart when he said that. so after that moment, i got attached. he became “the love of my life..” big mistake. after the chatanooga trip, it went downhill. he made up lies so we couldn’t talk, telling me his phone got taken away.. he was always getting made at me for the stupidest things. but honestly, the thing that hurt the most, my mom heard him talking on the phone in the hotel room, telling someone he was going to be home at 10:30, you’d think that was to his mom or guy friend? but he said, “i love you baby, i promise i’ll text” after that. so.. i felt like maybe if i try hard enough to keep him, he wont go away. but i just got these bad feelings, so i started to get “obsessed” i wanted him more then anything.. finally after a week and a half, he finally talks to me. thinking it would be good, he ends it with calling me crazy.. the pain finally hit me, tears fell down my face like rain. body shaking, feeling sick to my stomach. if he only knew.. how much i loved him, the way i felt.

Hello world!

laurenegg — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 02:07:40 +0000

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